A Memorial for a Special Man & A Sports Fan

In February I had the privilege to be asked to assist a family with the memorial arrangements for their beloved family member. His name was Art and as I got to know his family for the first time, I also got to meet a precious soul who touched me with his character, humour and tenacity.

I have a different take on death, as most of you know by now. There is a great respect for those who are dealing with such a great change. My love to assist all who are touched by death, loss and grief, feels like a great gift to me.

When I work as a Death Doula and Ceremonialist, I am there at many different stages of the dying and death process, from working with the person actively passing and their family, to having not met a person previously, but being asked to assist in the celebration of their lives, as well as grief counselling for those who need assistance to integrate their loss.

I will sometimes also get asked if I can connect to the dearly departed in a mediumistic manner as well. Often we as family and friends worry about the wishes of our loved ones, having the communication and clarification can sometimes be bitter sweet but helpful in those times of uncertainty. If I am asked to connect to the spirit of the loved one and I have not already assisted them in a Death Doula capacity, I am cautious and care for right timing, as well as the wishes of other family members, if they wish to be involved or leave it to the ones that do want the connection, I am always respectful of their wishes. In fact, it is not a service I openly offer at that time, simply because of the vulnerability of the situation.

In Art’s case, his sister came to me with a heavy heart and a concern for not knowing where to start and what to do. Art was not big on funerals and wasn’t bothered about having one, but my client’s and Art's Mom was in a retirement home and it was important for her to feel closure and honour her son. The family all agreed it was important to do and so the process began. It was also important to my client that Art was on the same page. That for the sake of those who loved and missed him to be able to gather and celebrate his life was important and ok with him.

Art’s presence was very strong in our session and there was great relief for my client to know that Art was not only ok with the idea of his celebration of life, but since it was going to happen, he might as well have a say in the music picked! All the music he picked through me where some of his favourites his family knew well, another confirmation that Art was communicating in the session.

There was laughter, tears and love very present in that session and in no time the celebration was organized. Art not only loved music but he loooooved his sports. He played baseball for years and along with some other chosen teams and sports, his love for baseball was very strong.

This sparked an idea which I shared with my client, I wanted to find used baseballs and have them available on each table to write a prayer or wish or kind word to Art at his celebration. It spoke volumes to my client and the decision was made to incorporate that into his celebration.

Little did I know how hard it would be to find used hardball baseballs in February!… and they had to be used, Art loved the character of objects and people… new just wouldn’t do and I love a challenge so off I went in search of used baseballs with hope and spirit with me !

After 2 days of searching Spirit finally provided a connection to Absolute Training Field in Calgary, it just so happened that they where planning to go through their ball inventory and when I told them why I was looking for used hardball baseballs they where touched by the sentiment and offered them up for free!!

With the stipulation that they can use the idea and put in their own wills. I walked out of the training facility with over 30 balls. What a score ! I knew Art was smiling. (Thanks to all the staff at Absolute Training Field for your gift and support!)

His family and friends gathered with love in their hearts and celebrated Art’s life with respect, authenticity, kindness and compassion. It was a honour to facilitate this memorial for them all.

This beautiful soul was a clever and quiet man, full of wisdom and character. Art did not live by anyones rules but his own and he taught me more about how to beat to my own drum, that when I see someone alone doesn’t necessarily mean their lonely and a quiet life is a precious life, oh and no matter what, throw the ball…. lol

Below is the poem which speaks of Art’s sentiments of life and sport.

I share this here in honour of an authentic and kind man, his family and his friends.

Some final thoughts

During the final inning

About what’s important

And what is winning.

It’s all about the memories

And not about the game

The memories that we make

Where we never are the same.

It’s easy to see sorrow

But harder to see grace

During our time on this planet

As its hurling through space.

But then the game is over

Full of excitement, joy and tears

And you have a precious memory

That will last you all your years.

- Anonymous

We have thrown many prayers to you Art, may you catch every one of them and know that you are loved by many.

Big thanks to this client for sharing her experience, her grief and her care for her loved ones, she and her family hold a special place in my memories.

If you experienced a healing, ceremony or powerful experience with me and would like to share your experience please contact me, I would love to share your power story here too !

With Heart,

Wanda