What is a Thana/Death Doula?

A Death Doula, also called a Thana Doula is someone who assists and supports the dying and the bereaved through their journey to and with death. Acting as a support system and sometimes advocate to assist in finding your way through change, loss, illness, death and grieving.

Death is a natural and sacred transition, one that all of us experience with others and then eventually for ourselves, 

yet it is something we are often in denial about and avoid due to living in a death phobic society, are holding unbeneficial belief systems regarding death and or have emotional wounds that do not bring a healthy concept of this inevitable reality.

Finding our own relationship with death empowers our lives, brings ease with change and supports the ones we love, those who go before us and those we leave behind. 

This relationship is an integral part of life as well and effects how we deal with the smallest of changes to the largest.  

There are aspects of life that we experience in many different ways, but do not associate our uncomfortableness with death. But what is change?  It is the constant movement of death and birth / endings and beginings in reciprocity. 

The old saying of "When one door closes, another door opens." holds this knowledge. The issue with change holds the same issue with death, it is the fear of the unknown.

Without the sacred rites of passages we used to have in our lives and communities, we have become complacant and unaware, then begins the cycle of avoidance because our fear surpasses our curiousity.

So, Death Doulas also serve as guides through the various transitions of life, guiding our walking souls through many rites of passages and assisting in healing our wounds so that we can live happy, empowered lives and also leave this world without unfinished business. 

Another aspect of Death Doula work (not all Doula's provide this however) comes with a Earth Based understanding of Spirit and from Wisdom that has been passed on in many traditions, in my case from generation to generation. 

These teachings and traditions may not neccesarily be a part of your journey or interests, however this is a service I also provide for those who want it.

A Death Doula, in my case, can also act as a Psychopomp, which is a soul guide, whose primary function is to escort souls to the afterlife, although dying is a natural process, our souls and consciousness still sometimes needs or appreciates the process of support to integrate, just as in birth. 

The term Psychpomp originates from the Greek words pompos (conductor or guide) and psyche (breath, life, soul, or mind). The existence of these “guides” are documented through out the ages and are a common service provided by our tribal/community priests/healers/shamans/medicine men and women etc. Up until the last 60 or 70 years, a birth doula was also a death doula, assisting in both directions of life. However over time this service has unfortunately been lost to the north american culture.

One of my services as a Psychopomp is to assist the dying at the moment of death, by assisting and over-seeing the birthing/unweaving spirit from the physical body while honouring the energy and experiences weaved into their life here. I then meet them in the other realm (the place between) and guide them to either cross over or assist them until they are ready to go. Just like every birth is different, so is every death. I feel it is important to honour each tradition, belief and experience for what it is and how it all shows up for those that are being personally effected.

So many in this day and age wish they didn’t have to be present at their own death, “I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens” expressed a comedian, unfortunately its a very common opinion. 

If we have come to a place of acceptance, we hope we experience a peaceful, calm, end-of-life transition. We hope to go fast without awareness it's coming or peacefully die in our bed as we sleep, or spend our last days at home, surrounded by loved ones as we quietly and easily slip across the veil. This is beautiful and possible, but unfortunately, that’s not the way most people die in the modern world, which is why it is more important now than ever to have an advocate for the dying.

How we die is often a reflection of how we live our lives. What does your death look like? Messy, disorganized, fearful or happy, trusting and curious?

As a Death Doula, my approach is to discover your needs, if wanted, work with those places which are uncomfortable, with you as an individual, also with family and or friends if that need is relevant or desired, then begins the journey to make death or loss a deeply supported process in your own way. 

My passion is to bring this avoided topic into the light, talk about the unspeakable in this culture and help people find their own personal relationship with what change, loss & death could look like. 

I do this by providing the questions, awarenesses and tools specifically built for their individual needs and beliefs to discover a healthy, earthy & spiritual way of honouring ourselves and our loved ones as we step into the Mystery.

This is a huge topic and service, not all aspects of this service can be written here so please feel free to contact me if you are curious or have questions about what was or was not addressed here.