In February I had the privilege to be asked to assist a family with the
memorial arrangements for their beloved family member. His name was Art and as
I got to know his family for the first time, I also got to meet a precious soul
who touched me with his character, humour and tenacity.
I have a different take on death, as most of you know by now. There is a great respect for those who are dealing with such a great change. My love to assist all who are touched by death, loss and grief, feels like a great gift to me.
When I
work as a Death Doula and Ceremonialist, I am there at many different stages of the dying and
death process, from working with the person actively passing and their family,
to having not met a person previously, but being asked to assist in the
celebration of their lives, as well as grief counselling for those who need
assistance to integrate their loss.
I will sometimes also get asked if I can connect to the dearly departed in a
mediumistic manner as well. Often we as family and friends worry about the wishes of our loved ones,
having the communication and clarification can sometimes be bitter sweet but
helpful in those times of uncertainty. If I am asked to connect to the spirit of the loved one and I have not
already assisted them in a Death Doula capacity, I am cautious and care for
right timing, as well as the wishes of other family members, if they wish to be
involved or leave it to the ones that do want the connection, I am always
respectful of their wishes. In fact, it is not a service I openly offer at that
time, simply because of the vulnerability of the situation.
In Art’s case, his sister came to me with a heavy heart and a concern
for not knowing where to start and what to do. Art was not big on funerals and
wasn’t bothered about having one, but my client’s and Art's Mom was in a retirement home
and it was important for her to feel closure and honour her son. The family all
agreed it was important to do and so the process began. It was also
important to my client that Art was on the same page. That for the sake of
those who loved and missed him to be able to gather and celebrate his life was
important and ok with him.
Art’s presence was very strong in our session and there was great relief
for my client to know that Art was not only ok with the idea of his celebration
of life, but since it was going to happen, he might as well have a say in the
music picked! All the music he picked through me where some of his favourites his family knew well,
another confirmation that Art was communicating in the session.
There was laughter, tears and love very present in that session and in
no time the celebration was organized. Art not only loved music but he
loooooved his sports. He played baseball for years and along with some other
chosen teams and sports, his love for baseball was very strong.
This sparked an idea which I shared with my client, I wanted to find
used baseballs and have them available on each table to write a prayer or wish
or kind word to Art at his celebration. It spoke volumes to my client and the
decision was made to incorporate that into his celebration.
Little did I know how hard it would be to find used hardball baseballs
in February!… and they had to be used, Art loved the character of objects and
people… new just wouldn’t do and I love a challenge so off I went in search of used baseballs with hope and spirit with me !
After 2 days of searching Spirit finally provided a connection to Absolute Training Field in Calgary, it
just so happened that they where planning to go through their ball inventory and
when I told them why I was looking for used hardball baseballs they where
touched by the sentiment and offered them up for free!!
With the stipulation that they can use the idea and put in their own wills. I walked out of the training facility with over 30 balls.
What a score ! I knew Art was smiling. (Thanks to all the staff at Absolute Training Field for your gift and
support!)
His family and friends gathered with love in their hearts and celebrated
Art’s life with respect, authenticity, kindness and compassion. It was a honour to facilitate this memorial for them all.
This beautiful soul was a clever and quiet man, full of wisdom and
character. Art did not live by anyones rules but his own and he taught me more
about how to beat to my own drum, that when I see someone alone doesn’t
necessarily mean their lonely and a quiet life is a precious life, oh and no
matter what, throw the ball…. lol
Below is the poem which speaks of Art’s sentiments of life and sport.
I share this here in honour of an authentic and kind man, his family and
his friends.
Some final thoughts
During the final inning
About what’s important
And what is winning.
It’s all about the memories
And not about the game
The memories that we make
Where we never are the same.
It’s easy to see sorrow
But harder to see grace
During our time on this planet
As its
hurling through space.
But then the game is over
Full of excitement, joy and tears
And you have a precious memory
That will last you all your years.
- Anonymous
We have thrown many prayers to you Art, may you catch
every one of them and know that you are loved by many.
Big thanks to this client for sharing her experience, her grief and her
care for her loved ones, she and her family hold a special place in my
memories.
If you experienced a healing, ceremony or powerful experience with me
and would like to share your experience please contact me, I would love to share your power story
here too !
With Heart,
Wanda
